The Skeeter Who Stole History
by Lyrrl
Summary: History may be written by the victors, but it is preserved by the descendants. Rita Skeeter comes from a long line of the literarily inclined, much to the distress of those who created history in the first place. (Rated for off-camera character death and violence)


**The Skeeter Who Stole History**

_History may be written by the victors, but it is preserved by the descendants. Rita Skeeter comes from a long line of the literarily inclined, much to the distress of those who created history in the first place._

"_For were there such friends anywhere as Slytherin and Gryffindor?"_

_The Sorting Hat, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, p. 204 American Edition_

There had been rumors of unrest in the hinterlands, but then, there were always such rumors, had been even before the spread of Christianity and the decline of the Old Religions, though never to such a degree. Mobs of Non-Magicals were forever discovering and persecuting their Magical neighbors, and any Non-Magical neighbors who were mistakenly identified as Magical. Fully (or, at least, partially) trained witches and wizards worked together to hide and, failing that, save as many as possible. And, if at all possible, the children were of the first priority, for it was with the children that the future rested.

Nevermore so than to the founders of the first official school of the isles to the north of the continent, for they had dedicated their lives to the education of Magical children and would not see them killed indiscriminately without interference or, when they heard of the situation too late, retribution.

The day had begun as always during the harvest. Most of the students were home assisting their families. Those students who could not return to their former homes due to circumstances beyond their control were assisting at Hogwarts as the teachers searched out prospective students, sought to protect those already accepted, and to limit the threats faced by the far-flung Magical population.

"I'm telling you: we should just spirit them away, not bother with the parents." Salazar Slytherin had finished his breakfast and was walking towards the vast doors of the Entrance Hall. "Then there'd be no risk of the parents reacting badly and traumatizing – or worse! – our students. And the Mobs would have fewer Non-Magicals clamoring to join them, fewer reasons to form in the first place."

His burly companion – leaning heavily on a staff and limping badly despite its help – rolled his eyes. "No, instead we would be fighting zealots blaming us – and rightly so! – for the disappearance of their perfectly normal children!"

"At least they'd be hunting kidnappers, not heretics or the unnatural." A twist to Salazar's thin lips betrayed what he thought of those particular appellations. "You'll find that the typical punishment is reduced in the former case. The latter tends to be deadly."

"I'm telling you: once we've got our routes down, got our procedures in place – "

"And warded everything within an inch of its life, never forget that."

"Yes, yes, and got our wards in place, there will be far less danger if we tell the parents what's happening. After all, most of them seem to be grateful for the explanation, and usually are good about keeping what we tell them quiet, if only for their child's safety."

"That's because the ones who would immediately run to the nearest church already burned the child in question. And the ones who decide it's their duty later aren't easy to pick out. And the ones who would take the secret to their graves have an unfortunate habit of not quite managing it."

"Maybe we should offer relocation to the parents? Somewhere nearby, where they all have magical children, or family members, and could defend each other. Safety in numbers, you know?"

"And give the Mobs an obvious, cohesive, stationary target, near the school?" Salazar glared, every trace of amusement wiped from his face and eyes. "Godric-"

"I know, Salazar. I know." Godric Gryffindor's sad eyes and wry half-smile proved that he _did_ know, regardless of the jaunty set of his shoulders. After all, he hadn't exactly injured himself falling down the stairs. "Maybe we should just build a separate castle, somewhere down near Lundenburh, and claim _that's_ where Hogwarts is?"

"Or just abduct the magical children and make it look like they accidentally found themselves in fairy rings?" the sly sparkle was back in Salazar's eyes.

"Or pretend like we're located in Rome?" Godric seemed to be having a fair bit of difficulty keeping a straight face.

"Godric…" Salazar shook his head in amusement as Godric threw back his head and laughed. Salazar adjusted his sword and knives one last time, then clasped his friend's outstretched forearm as his was clasped in return. "I will be back in a week."

"Watch your back. I would come, but," Godric indicated his leg, "with this injury I'd be worse than useless."

"Especially once Rowena and Helga had caught up with us and killed you." With that, Salazar turned and made his way to the edge of the Hogwarts wards, still chuckling over the old, well worn and half teasing argument, and Godric turned back into the depths of the castle, beyond late to change the bandages holding the poultice over the gouge on his leg. After all, there were always rumors of unrest in the hinterlands. No reason to be any more concerned than usual when one of the four went out to find new students, not even when they went alone. He nodded amicably to the loitering students as he passed. Just another muggy day, with nothing terribly remarkable happening to incite rapid movement.

It was the last time that Salazar Slytherin was seen on the grounds of Hogwarts.

-Original [Approximately 950 AD]-

_…And so it came to pass that, after completing their usual argument and again producing no viable, mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts for the final time. He was found to have engaged a Non-Magical Mob in combat, slaying them in their entirety, saving the lives of three young Magical children and their elder, Non-Magical sibling, before perishing of his wounds. The Founders, in their anger and grief, never again spoke his name, but completed his masterwork according to the procedures found among his personal documents. As a result, the Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood no fewer than five direct attacks from Non-Magical Mobs…_

-[Approximately 1020 AD]-

"Can't I go outside?"

"No. You've been slacking, and we can't put off copying over these manuscripts any longer. Look at this one! Some of the ink is nearly faded out of existence, the edges of the parchment is crumbling away…you'll have to be very careful."

"But-!"

"You've got the attention for detail, and patience enough when you're interested."

"But-!"

"It's not all dry records, kid. This here? This's straight from the founding of Hogwarts. Partially written by one of the Founder's children."

"Hogwarts?"

"Yep. From before the wards went up, before the death of Slytherin, to, ah, here we are. 'Till the wards were finalized and Hufflepuff died."

"…Okay…"

"And it's got some depictions of the battles involved."

"Give it to me! Where're my writing things? Can I use the big desk so the parchment's supported better? How long 'till supper? Don't want to mix up too much ink-"

"Slow down a'fore you hurt yourself, or worse, the manuscript. One of a kind, that, so be careful. And supper will be in, oh, six hours. Don't work past your eyes blurring, or else."

"Got it! Thanks!"

-Second Copy [Approximately 1025 AD]-

_…And so it came to pass that, after completing their usual argument and again producing no viable, mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts for the final time. He was found to have engaged a Non-Magical Mob in combat, slaying them in their entirety, saving the lives of three young Magical children and their elder Magical sibling, before perishing of his wounds. The Founders, in their anger and grief, never again spoke his name, but completed his masterwork according to the procedures found in his notes. As a result, the Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood no fewer than five direct attacks from Non-Magical Mobs…_

-[Approximately 1105 AD]-

"I don't wanna."

"It's your job."

"But I don't wanna."

"It's nearly illegible, and the mice have been in the library. Again."

"You do it."

"I've not got the time. Do you have any idea how much literature Ravenclaw left, which I've got to copy out? We let this go on much further, and we'll need help from outside the family to get everything copied out before it rots."

"...I don't wanna."

"I'll tell Daddy and Mommy that you want to marry that girl down the trail and solve our need for help that way."

"Jerk!"

"Just do it, and don't take forever. We've got _lots_ to save from disintegration."

-Third Copy [Approximately 1110 AD]-

_…And so, after having their usual argument and again producing no mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts for the final time. He was found to have engaged a Non-Magical Mob in combat, slaying all of them, saving the lives of four Magical children before dying of his wounds. The Founders, in their anger and grief, never again spoke his name, but completed the wards according to the procedures found in his notes. As a result, the Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood at least five direct attacks…_

-[Approximately 1195 AD]-

"It's a copy of one of the oldest historical manuscripts in the place."

"But I hate history."

"Then why are you a scribe?"

"Because men in our family always become scribes. You know that."

"Doesn't mean you have to."

"You've never met my Mother, cousin. Give me the blasted book. Bet the thing is riddled with grammatical errors and worse."

"Just copy it, kid."

-Fourth Copy [Approximately 1200 AD]-

_…And so, after their usual argument again produced no mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts for the final time. He was found to have engaged a Non-Magical Mob in combat and killed all of them, thus saving the lives of four Magical children before dying of his wounds. The Founders, in their anger and grief, never again spoke his name, but completed the wards according to the procedures found in his notes. As a result, the Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood at least five direct attacks…_

-[Approximately 1285 AD]-

"Arggg!"

"What?"

"Mouse! Kill it!"

"If I can find the blasted thing – Blast! Look at this!"

"It's got holes and, and, Blessed Virgin, there are pieces of text missing!"

"What do we do?"

"You find the mouse and convince Father to look into those rumors of anti-pest spells. He'll listen to you. Maybe."

"And you?"

"I will copy out what's left of these manuscripts, starting with that one."

"You just gestured to the entire wall, sis. Exactly how long do you think I'm going to be looking for that mouse?"

"Long enough for me to finish if you don't start soon! Oh drat, this is that history of the Founding of Hogwarts. Stuff from then is getting really rare…"

-Fifth Copy [Approximately 1290 AD]-

_…And so, after their argument again produced no mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts for the final time. He was found to have engaged a Non-Magical Mob in combat and killed all of them. The Founders, in their anger and grief, never again spoke his name, but completed the wards. As a result, the Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood at least five direct attacks…_

-[Approximately 1345 AD]-

"Leave _me_ to copy out boring old records and stuff no one else even reads, hah! Everyone's more interested in the Healing records, so what am I supposed to copy out? Hogwarts history that no-one's opened in decades. 'It's an important collection, and you're such a great copyist that we know it'll be done just like new with no errors and beautifully illuminated,' hah! Show them. Well, heck. Lookie there. Hogwarts founding, huh? Jeeze, what's with these scribes? Everybody knows that the Slytherin family's been Dark forever, and wasn't that Dark Lord from that manuscript I copied out a few years ago from the Slytherin line? As if any of this nonsense is real. Probably just trying to spin it so all the Founders are great people. Idiot scribe. No one's gonna believe that. And no one's gonna notice if I fix it, either. Man, this part is confusing, like they fell asleep copying, or something. Yup. Fixing it's more of a public service, anyway. No way the other copies are this bad…"

-Fifth Copy [Approximately 1350 AD]-

_…And so, after their argument again produced no mutually acceptable solutions, Salazar Slytherin left the halls of Hogwarts in a fury. He was found to have massacred a group of Muggles. The Founders, in their fury, never again spoke his name._

_The Hogwarts wards are the strongest in existence today, and the school has successfully withstood at least five direct attacks…_

-[Approximately 1440 AD]-

"And here is the-"

"Holy Mother of Merlin! Fire!"

"Quick! Grab as many of the books as you can carry!"

"Don't be stupid! _Wingardium Leviosa!_"

"…That works too."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Do we have to copy out the ones that are super-charred?"

"Only if there isn't a decent copy left. We don't want to lose our history, after all, and this collection has been entrusted to our family for centuries."

"Thought Grandma said we stole them?"

"…Permanently borrowed. Centuries ago."

-Sixth Copy [Approximately 1445 AD]-

_…And so, after an irreconcilable argument with Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin left Hogwarts in a fury and massacred a group of Muggles. The Founders, in their fury, never again spoke his name._

_The Hogwarts wards were the strongest in existence in their day, and let the school successfully withstand five attacks…_

-[Approximately 1615 AD]-

"I'm serious. I'm not putting my hand back there."

"What, are you scared? 'Cause I'm scareder."

"What did you just say?"

"Scareder?"

"Yeah, only you pronounced it like 'skeer-ter'."

"It's how the muggles say it."

"Doesn't mean _you_ get to say it."

"Supposed to blend in, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, look! That manuscript's the only one still in existence! Dad says it dates back from the Founding of Hogwarts!"

"It looks too new for that…"

"Well, it's been copied a few times, but I'm sure it's still pretty accurate. I mean, we're _scribes_. It's our _job_ to copy it out right."

"Wasn't there a fire a couple hundred years ago?"

"Yeah, but I guess this one survived okay."

"And it's what Dad wants us to copy?"

"And the other Founder stuff. Apparently there's a library that want's copies of them for research. And we get to copy them out."

"Given what's happened to this collection if half of Granny's stories are right, bet you we copy it out and it gets hit by lightning."

"No bet. At least the new preservation charms will help keep things in order here."

-Seventh Copy [Approximately 1620 AD]-

_…And so, after an irreconcilable argument with Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin left Hogwarts in a rage and massacred a group of Muggles. The Founders, in their fury, never again spoke his name._

_The Hogwarts wards were the strongest in existence in their day, and let the school successfully withstand five attacks…_

-[Approximately 1900 AD]-

"Excuse me? I was told that the earliest manuscripts of the Hogwarts Founders collection could be found here?"

"Why, yes, ma'am. I'm Lyell Skeeter, the head scribe. Who might you be?"

"Bathilda Bagshot. I understand that this collection is family owned?"

"Yes, always has been. It's a minor point of pride, these days. I'll show you to the collection. We've already taken the liberty of removing from storage the documents you asked to see in your letter. Should help keep things manageable."

"I'm amazed that you've been able to keep it in the family for so long."

"I'm not sure how much longer we'll be able to manage. Many of the manuscripts need a great deal of reclamation. The preservation charms invented over the years have helped, but fewer and fewer of our children have desired to become copyists. Why, a few of my grandchildren are threatening to become literary writers!"

"I am a historian."

"…No offence meant, of course."

"None taken."

-Several Decades Later-

"Madam Bagshot? Rita Skeeter. I'm writing a biography of Albus Dumbledore and would like to ask you a few question-"

"You're that sensationalist journalist from the Prophet! I have nothing to say to the likes of – hold it. Skeeter? From the family that kept the Founder collection for generations?"

"Why, yes, yes indeed. About those ques-"

"That collection is riddled in inaccuracy! I detected the presence of no fewer than five different writing styles in the grammar alone! And fifty-six instances where deletion or miss-copying of verbiage was almost a certainty! Why, I'm not particularly convinced that the facts are all actually facts, given that every other so-called corroborating source still in existence is _based_ on those same books! Teasing out the most reliably factual bits took me nearly one third of my life! It's not even for that long a chapter! You tell that Great-grandfather of yours-!"

"I'll come back later!"

-Several Decades Later: Post-Final Battle-

"So, let me get this straight. We need to do repairs on the castle."

"Fairly obvious, given that we are all relying on hidden passages to get around because they suffered the least damage, the main staircases are nearly impassable, and to reach the second floor from the first we had to detour through the seventh…"

"Yeah, right. So, repairs. Why won't _reparo _work?"

"The base-line spells on the castle – the ones that keep everything grounded and are pretty much solely responsible for the fact that the castle hasn't collapsed on us yet – aren't the ones that are standard these days, so no one's sure how they'll interact with the usual building spells. And honestly, Ron! The damage is a bit extensive for a _reparo_!"

"Has anyone asked the ghosts?"

"Whazzat Harry?"

"The ghosts. The Grey Lady's Ravenclaw's daughter, right? Wouldn't she be able to help?"

"Uh, huh. Wouldn't have thought of that. Think they'll help?"

"Where's Hermio-?"

"Luna! Luna! Have you seen the Grey Lady?"

"Ah. Over there. C'mon, then."

-A Few Hours Later-

"Helena? I'm sorry to bother you, but we've been trying to repair all of the damage done to the castle and we've hit a bit of a snag."

"What Hermione's trying to say, is that the Library is failing her."

"Ron!"

"Well, Hermione, you have to admit he's right."

"Well, there isn't much available in the Hogwarts library about the actual construction spells or the warding, and the only other repository that might have had the necessary information doesn't have it anymore. And we don't trust it, anyways."

"And which one would that be, young lady?"

"The one run by the Skeeter family."

"Yeah, who knew Skeeter came from a family of historians?"

"Not historians, Ron. Copyists and scribes."

"Big difference."

"Yes. Very big difference."

"Really?"

"If you refer to the collection I believe you do, there ought to be some useful information amongst their documents. I wrote several scrolls pertaining to the early years of Hogwarts, which I believe became part of the collection, though I didn't finish the entire account. I wrote the part from the beginning until around the time of Salazar Slytherin's death. There was a large section dealing with the building and warding of Hogwarts."

"Well, I've got a copy of your scroll here in my bag – oh hush, you knew I was using it to research the re-building, don't act so surprised – let me find it, here we go. Here's what they have on that part. '_…And so, after an irreconcilable argument with Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin left Hogwarts in a rage and massacred a group of Muggles. The Founders, in their fury, never again spoke his name._

"'_The Hogwarts wards were the strongest in existence in their day, and let the school successfully withstand five attacks…'_"

"Lies! They have defiled History! That is absolutely not what happened, nor what I wrote, the knaves! Not in the slightest!"

"Psst! Y'know, Harry, for a ghost famous for going centuries without speaking to anyone, she sure can make some noise!"

"Yes. Yes she can. But she's ranting about interesting history, including what we need to know, and Hermione's taking notes, so I say go with it. We'll probably be interviewing ghosts and the Hat for a while as Hermione starts a crusade to re-claim history. Don't look at me like that – this probably means SPEW is dead!"

_-__ficta voluptatis causa sint proxima veris__-_

_Notes: _

_Wikipedia claims the Latin phrase translates to "fictions meant to please should approximate the truth"._

_This is the result of my reading several fantastic time-travel/Founders Era fanfics, and then proceeding to pay … absolutely no attention to a sermon thanks to the first scene popping into my head. The rest of the story was me putting some of the ways history finds itself modified to good use. The Skeeter clan's involvement? Rita's view of reality may or may not have helped jump-start the entire premise. The rest of the clan is simply being judged guilty by association. _

_The format (primarily dialogue throughout) is mostly a challenge to myself. I wanted to see if I could tell a cohesive story almost entirely without prose – not something I am generally inclined to do. I did draw the line at learning enough Old or Middle (or cheating and learning Shakespearian) English to write out the history passage which is shown through it's various incarnations. While the different versions of English would have allowed me to use lingual shifts in meaning (a whole 180 degrees, for some words – it's kind of scary) to make the twisting of history worse, it would also have required more time than I had to give and probably would have delayed actually writing this by several years. Therefore, the idea was scrapped, despite my knowing exactly where to find the pertinent reference books._

_There are probably a bunch of historical inaccuracies scattered about – I do not spend much time reading history, and the only actual history books I have read in the last ten years involving this time period focused on Vikings. If anything jumps out at you, please let me know and I will consider making adjustments. These will also probably depend on whether or not I can figure out how to make the programing of work in the first place._

_That being said, please let me know about any formatting irregularities. This is my first story, and I am better at irrevocably breaking technology than actually making it work properly._

_Began: November 2014_

_Completed: December 2014_

_Rating: T for safety: rated for off-camera character death and violence._


End file.
